31 December 2011

Today is the Twilight Zone

I can hardly believe a whole year has passed (and a jam packed year it has been!) and I am sitting on the precipice of time watching as the old year slips away into history and a new year is born with all the potential that comes with having a new life. So much to learn from the past year and so much to learn as I dance through each day in the future, days filled with lessons, adventures, field trips, and blessings from everything that happens - good or bad. Amazing! 

This day is what I call a thin place, one of those places through which you can peek into faerie land and see all the joy and power of God, and peer into the fourth dimension of time - being able to see what is going on in two time dimensions at one time. 

As I stand on the precipice this year I see how my life changed because of cancer, I faced fear, I grew, and I learned a lot about myself. I watched and realized even more that my boys are now men and I don't really know them at all for they have changed over the decades since their father and I separated and divorced, I wasn't able to be there for much of what they went through and help them through it - for an 'unspoken' reason I shall not name here. Thank God I am able to have a pleasant relationship with the boys now, it hadn't  always been that way, those first few years were awful for me. Josh told me that yes, he had been very angry and upset with my for leaving but as he grew older he came to recognize the symptoms of what is going on and understood why I had to leave.

It has been a good year in the school of life and am looking forward to this upcoming year in the school of life!

25 December 2011

Merry Christmas!!!!

Merry Christmas to one and all! Last night a 2 yr old boy was abducted at 5pm in Richmond, Va, got the Amber alert at 9:30 or a little later. Immediately stopped and prayed that they find the baby okay and this morning I found out they did! God's angels have been busy this Season making Santa look bad!

Christmas Eve's Expensive Photo

I have been seeing this gorgeous Log Cabin while driving down country roads to go to Walmart while staying at the Pet sitting job. So on Christmas Eve (yesterday), as I was heading to my house to spend time with my husband and two sons, I decided to go by the Log Cabin and take a picture of it.

I drove slow down Shillealeigh Rd looking for the cabin and passed by the driveway to it so I backed up then went to pull into the driveway so I could take a snap. Unfortunately a little problem occurred… my right front tire missed the driveway and part of my car wound up in a ditch!

After beating my hands on the steering wheel a few times and laughing (I told y’all I had a warped sense of humor!) I got out of the car to try and figure out how to get the car out of the ditch. No way I could do it without a tow truck so I called my husband and told him what was going on, he immediately said call AAA. About that time an Angel in a beautiful silver truck came around the corner, stopped and proceeded to help me. He tied my car to his truck and pulled me out of the ditch. Then he had me pull into the driveway so he could remove the rope. (Up to that point none of the neighbors bothered with me until they saw someone else was helping me.) The Angel checked my car and made sure the bumper (which was twisted) wasn’t going to rub my tire.

While we were checking it out I started giggling. I told him I should have known better to come this way because I woke up thinking about the time my Mom drove her car into a ditch in my yard while she was backing up to leave. I giggled, I had been forewarned but didn’t listen.

By the time all was said and done he said don’t consider this an accident, it was just a BooBoo! That tickled me. As he was leaving I’m sure he was shaking his head because he saw me standing in front of my car taking a picture of the Log Cabin! Figured I may as well take it since I went through so much to get the pic!
By the time I got into the car I was in a full blown Panic Attack – I know about these things because I had decades of Panic Attacks before I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder. This was the first really BAD attack I’ve had in a very long time and being as I was having Centralized Focusing I knew I had to stop somewhere to relax a bit and take some Xanax, so I stopped at Walmart, yeah great place to stop on Christmas Eve to calm down! LOL

I wondered around a little bit doing deep breathing exercises to calm down while waiting for the Xanax to kick in…. if it did I didn’t notice. So I called Burton and asked if he wanted something from Subway then ordered our Subs. When I left Walmart I was still in Panic mode. When I got to my car I went to the drivers side to check out the twisted bumper again and I saw a puddle next to my car… I paniced again. I had asked my angel to check the “water heater thing” (we both cracked up when I asked him this, told him my mind wasn’t quite right just yet) and he had said it was fine, but when I saw the puddle I went back into heavy panic mode. I knelt down to see where the water was coming from but was glad to find that someone had just dumped a cup of coffee on the ground near my car! Phew!

As I was driving down Interstate 64 I got mad at myself because I hadn’t thought to have the Angel take pictures of me with the car, I saw the perfect pictures running through my head!Ah well, my boys totally enjoyed the story and seeing the bumper – their follow all the driving rules and made a boo boo! I am sure I will never hear the end of this!

23 December 2011

The Transformation

And to think I didn't  think I was pretty.

Still didn't think I was pretty.

No comment.

A "little" better.


My inner Steampunk Elf

Finally looking like a girl again!

Hmmmm, need the flash to erase wrinkles! LOL

Me and Linda Biggs

Side view of several weeks ago.

Celebrating having longer hair finally! (Accused of being Giorgio A Tsoulkas' Mom)

This is Giorgio... I met his father when I was abducted. Wish I had run into Fox Mulder instead!

Side view

Finally getting pretty again!

Looks like I'm needing a trim! Been a while since I've had to say that!!!!

21 December 2011

Former Miss Venezuela Eva Ekvall, 28, dies of breast cancer

28 yrs old and dies of Breast Cancer - unbelievable! When will the Medical Community wake up and realize that women need to be watched at an early age especially when there is a family history of family members dying of Breast Cancer at an early age! This makes me sooooo sad.


17 December 2011

The Beattitudes

For quite some time now every time I pick up my Bible to read I automatically go to Matt. 5: 3-12. Knowing what I know about myself especially lately I realize that I really need an 
attitude adjustment from time to time.... sometimes a lot of time. :-(  but I know God loves me anyway. So I decided to post them  and side notes I wrote here.

Note:The First 6 Beatitudes deal strickly with our heart.
         The 7th concerns our actions.
         8 +9 deals with the world's reactions to the righteous (us).

 "The BE - Attitudes."

  Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn*, for they shall be comforted**.
*about one's personal sinfulness, for what hey have or haven't done, how they have hurt others.
**Helped, held and protected, they are no longer alone to bear the pain.

Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall receive "Mercy."

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteous, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when men cast insults at you and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely, on account of me.

Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

16 December 2011

Nature Memories

I have always been a person who loves scenery, having Nature all around me. It is one of my pieces of heaven! It also reminds me of places I have been to before and how my reactions to it were. Today I am pet sitting at a house in the country and I am overjoyed with the view from the dining room window: fields and woods. Years ago, when Michael and I and the boys lived on George Washington Hwy in Deep Creek, Va, I use to  go to this road and parked next to this field when I was down... and the scene out the window  reminds me of that special place. It also reminds me of  the scene from Lyons Flats outside of Dolgeville, NY. It also reminds me of the view from the Suffolk House I lived in before I left Michael. (It no longer looks like that anymore - the farmer who owns the land suddenly decided that he had the money to build some small houses that blocked the view from our house.) Oh, it reminds me of the view from a house that the Church in Dennison Corners had for the Pastor of the Church - we ended up not Pastoring but that view has never left me.

14 December 2011

Dragons in our life

"Faerie tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons do exit, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." G. K. Chesterton

13 December 2011

The Compassionate Rat.

I just read this on a friend's Cancer Blog and I thought I would share it with you

The Roots of Compassion

Yesterday I read an incredible story: rats will work hard to free other rats from captivity, and even save chocolate for the trapped rat! When they finally succeed in learning how to open the cage, both the free rat and the newly liberated rat would race about the cage in obvious celebration!

It is further evidence that compassion and empathy are not just occasional human emotions. There must be something very deep within life itself that responds to distress in others. We’ll probably never work out how to demonstrate that in the smallest of creatures, but I have seen myself that a turtle placed upside among other turtles is immediately given help.

Now, while I’m working to strengthen my immune system, I’m going to try to be as compassionate as a rat (but, save some chocolate??? hmmm). Every day, try to relieve some other’s distress; every day be grateful for someone who helps me.

I’ll post a link here and you can find many more via ma google:


12 December 2011

I saw that this had been created a year or more ago on "Ancient Aliens!"

By David Dishneau
Police deployment of sonic blasters at Occupy Wall Street and G-20 protest rallies is fueling both sales and criticism of the devices, which emit beams of sound with laser-like intensity.
More U.S. police and emergency-response agencies are using the so-called Long-Range Acoustic Devices instead of megaphones or conventional loudspeakers for crowd control, according to news reports and leading manufacturer LRAD Corp. of San Diego.
But the products, which the makers developed as nonlethal options for military use, are prompting outcries from people on the receiving end, who call them "sound cannons." The city of Pittsburgh is fighting an American Civil Liberties Union lawsuit claiming the piercing tone from a police blaster during the 2009 G-20 summit permanently damaged a woman's hearing. At least one Occupy Wall Street protester says New York City police also used the punishing alert tone, although police say they have used the device only to broadcast messages.
LRAD says its products offer police something louder than a megaphone and more benign than rubber bullets and tear gas for managing crowds, defusing hostage situations and serving warrants on dangerous suspects.
"All of these events have helped bring interest to LRAD as new way to take care of these type of situations where they haven't had them before," company spokesman Robert Putnam said.
He said LRAD is not a weapon but a long-range communication system for clearly broadcasting information, instructions and warnings.
The publicly traded company had record sales of $26 million in the 2011 fiscal year ending Sept. 30, up 57 percent from a year earlier. Foreign and domestic military customers accounted for at least 58 percent of sales.
The company said Dec. 5 in its year-end report that it sees increased commercial applications for LRADs in areas including law enforcement.
The company developed the devices for the U.S. Navy after the deadly 2000 attack on the USS Cole off Yemen to give sailors a way of ordering small boats to stop approaching U.S. warships. Until 2009, they were known mainly for seagoing applications, including deterring pirates from attacking cruise ships. LRAD said the Louisiana National Guard used its products to communicate with victims of Hurricane Katrina in 2005.
The products range from a 15-pound, battery-operated, hand-held unit to a 320-pound device with an advertised range of nearly 2 miles. Even the smallest unit, the LRAD 100X, emits as much as 137 decibels at 1 meter. That's louder than a jet takeoff at 100 meters but lower than the pain threshold of 140 decibels, according to the U.S. Occupational Safety and Health Administration.
Putnam said LRAD broadcast levels are purposely kept below the threshold that could cause permanent hearing damage. He acknowledged that prolonged exposure can cause damage, comparing it to listening to fire siren for a long time.
Putnam said the sound at close range causes most people to experience discomfort, cover their ears and move away.
The Associated Press witnessed a demonstration in September of the 149-decibel, 500X model at Marine Corps Base Quantico, in the northern Virginia suburbs of Washington. At a distance of about 250 yards, it clearly emitted spoken words, a recorded train whistle and an annoying squeal — the alert tone.
Karen Piper, a University of Missouri English professor, visited Pittsburgh during the September 2009 G-20 summit to research whether protesters have any effect on the International Monetary Fund and World Bank. She claims in a federal lawsuit she was about 100 feet from an LRAD mounted on a moving vehicle when it emitted a "piercing, continuous, high-pitched sound" for a number of minutes, causing permanent hearing loss.
The ACLU is representing Piper in her lawsuit against the city, alleging violations of her constitutional rights of assembly, privacy and due process. The complaint, filed in September, alleges the city was negligent, reckless and careless in its use of the LRAD. As a result, Piper "was forced to endure great pain, suffering and inconvenience" including "permanent nerve hearing damage," the complaint said.
The city denied Piper's claims recently in a court filing. It said its representatives used LRAD in accordance with the manufacturers' safety instructions.
Putnam said that if Piper was 100 feet away, the loudest sound she could have encountered would have been about 120 decibels — lower than 130-decibel emergency sirens or 140-decibel custom car stereos. And he said her exposure from a moving LRAD would have been seconds, not minutes.
The National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health says exposure to a sound of 120 decibels should not equal or exceed 9 seconds.
Raymond DeMichiei, deputy director of the Pittsburgh Office of Emergency Management and Homeland Security, said his agency supplied the LRADs to Pittsburgh police for the G-20 summit. He said he's never seen a better device for communicating with an unruly crowd.
"What would you rather have us do, the old 1964 routine with fire hoses and billy clubs? I think it's a lot more humane to make people uncomfortable because their ears hurt, and they leave," he said.
Associated Press writer Joe Mandak in Pittsburgh contributed to this report.

Personally I don't think billy clubs should be aloud in such a hostile environment because "everyone"  is caught up in the moment. As for the Long-Range Acoustic Devices,  that should be used against our enemies not our people who are practicing their "Right to Speech!" This is wring in so many ways!

11 December 2011

The Meaning To The 13 Folds Of The American Flag



Did you know that at military funerals, the 21 gun salute stands for the sum of the numbers in the year 1776.
Have you ever noticed how the honor guard pays meticulous attention to correctly folding the American flag 13 times? You probably thought it was to symbolize the original 13 colonies, but we learn something new every day!

The 1st fold of our flag is a symbol of life.

The 2nd fold is a symbol of our belief in eternal life.

The 3rd fold is made in honor and remembrance of the veterans departing our ranks who gave a portion of their lives for the defense of our country to attain peace throughout the world.

The 4th fold represents our weaker nature, for as American citizens trusting in God, it is to Him we turn in times of peace as well as in time of war for His divine guidance.

The 5th fold is a tribute to our country, for in the words of Stephen Decaur, "Our Country", in dealing with other countries, may she always be right; but it is still our country, right or wrong.

The 6th fold is for where our hearts lie. It is with our heart that We pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, Indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

The 7th fold is a tribute to our Armed Forces, for it is through the Armed Forces that we protect our country and our flag against all her enemies, whether they be found within or without the boundaries of our republic.

The 8th fold is a tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death, that we might see the light of day.

The 9th fold is a tribute to womanhood, and Mothers. For it has been through their faith, their love, loyalty and devotion that the character of the men and women who have made this country great has been molded.

The 10th fold is a tribute to the father, for he, too, has given his sons and daughters for defense of our country since they were first born.

The 11th fold represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon and glorifies in the Hebrews eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

The 12th fold represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies, in the Christians eyes, God the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit.

The 13th fold, or when the flag is completely folded, the stars are uppermost reminding us of our nations motto, "In God We Trust."

After the flag is completely folded and tucked in, it takes on the appearance of a cocked hat, Ever reminding us of the soldiers who served under General George Washington, and the Sailors and Marines who served under Captain John Paul Jones, who were followed by their comrades and shipmates in the Armed Forces of the United States, preserving for us the rights, privileges and freedoms we enjoy today.

There are some traditions and ways of doing things that have deep meaning. In the future, youll see flags folded and now you will know why. Share this with the children you love and all others who love the symbol of "Liberty and Freedom."

09 December 2011

07 December 2011

Work-in-progress Angel Hugs 2.

I did this picture in honor of my friend Linda.

Beginning sketch.


Beginning to add colors to characters.

Finished picture.

1st Work in Progress for Angel Hugs Series

I did this picture during a time when I was feeling down and wanted a hug.

Beginning Sketch


Beginning to color characters.

Characters colors complete.

Finished Picture.

Today I am one year old!

Yep, it is my one year cancerversary! It has been a strange year, a good year, definitely can’t say it was a quiet year but the volume of noise is going down. 

Had my Lab work done and saw my Chemo Doc yesterday and everything is fine. He said it will take afew days to get the results from my tumor marker and CBC test but everything looks fine. My tumor marker last time was 30 and that is great! He said if it was over 38 then they would do testing but he doesn’t think I have anything to worry about.

Now I look like this:

I styled it after Giorgio A. Tsoukalos’ hair which has
its own Facebook Page! LOL Giorgio is on “Ancient Aliens.”

06 December 2011

Honor and Remember

Last night my husband and I attended a dinner honoring our Fallen soldiers and special Honor and Remember Flags were given to families that have lost a family member to war. It was a beautiful ceremony, heart wrenching as you saw family members go up to the stage through a line of soldiers from various American Military Service to receive their flag. It was silent except for the quiet weeping throughout the room.

This Non-profit Organization was started by a man, George Lutz, that lost his son in war while working with my husband. It is an amazing Organization and can use finacial help from all of us to help buy the flags, provide hotel rooms for the families, and more. Here is the link.... please visit it and make a donation:



The Music that helped me in my early Christian years!

This is the music that helped through my early life as a Christian


Inspiring The Soul : First Love Commemorative Edition

FIRST LOVE - A historic gathering of Jesus Music 

pioneers : 2 DVDs & 2 CDs

The late 60's and early '70's were a time of tremendous upheaval in American culture as the hippie generation abandoned the values of their parents, turned to drugs and away from materialism, and went on a search for love and peace. For these young people, "the establishment" which included the church, seemed irrelevant. At times it felt like the very fabric of our nation might tear apart.
It was out of this tumultuous era that young, musical voices began to surface. These newly converted musicians began singing about the new hope they had found through Jesus Christ.
First Love examines the life and music of the people who birthed the sounds of a revolution that swept American culture. It became know as the Jesus Movement. For three historic days, these artists gathered for the first time in a mountain retreat in Southern California and First Love Volumes I & II captures almost 4 hours of each of their incredible live performances and reveals a rare look a the heart and motives of each artist as they describe in intimate detail the drama of their personal transformation.
With performances by:
• Randy Matthews
• Barry McGuire
• Annie Herring
• Chuck Girard
• Matthew Ward
• John Fischer
• Andrae Crouch
• Jamie Owens Collins
• 2nd Chapter of Acts
• Terry Clark
• Keith Green tribute with Melody Green
• Randy Stonehill
• Love Song
• Paul Clark
• Darrell Mansfield
• Honeytree
"We didn't know very much. We were naive. All we knew was we were blind, now we see. And that was enough."
- Love Song

04 December 2011

Soy here, Soy, there

I am getting really irritated these days reading labels to check for soy products. Last night I was rubbing an All Natural Aloe Vera hand cream on before going to bed and I just happened to think to look at the label and sure enough – there were soy bean stuff in it! Made me mad! Earlier when I was watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” there was a phone call that talked about using soy to make plastic – so there is soy in that movie! LOL But that got me thinking – plastics are made from soy! How do we get away from soy?

I am thinking we should start a petition about taking soy out of foods and sending them to all companies or having a line of non-soy products for people who have cancer that makes them sensitive to soy. That stinking ‘natural product’ could be killing us by feeding our cancers! Or Lobby our Congressmen and educate them about soy. Maybe contact the FDA - I’m getting sick and tired of being excluded from using stuff because it could kill me in the future.
Anybody agree with me?

02 December 2011


This disease is running major rampid! I have a neighbor/friend who is about to go under the knife for Uterine Cancer and another friend who while being tested for Ovarian cancer now say they found a white mass in her brain so she might have brain cancer, too! Words can't express what I am feeling right now but let's just say nobody better not push any of my buttons cuz I don't know how I will react!

01 December 2011


I thought becoming a vegetarian was going to be a huge challenge especially since I don't like to cook but so far it hasn't been so hard! Here is the recipe for last nights dinner:

~ wheat tortitias or burritos
~ left over tomato sauce with mixed vegetables or whatever veggies you want in it (heated up).
~ cheese (any kind you want)
~ egg starters
~ tomatoes, black olives, baby spinach, avocado, and anything else you would like.

~Lay out the shell, add eggs, sauce, and rest of  ingredients. Top with a sprinkle of cheese, heat in micro wave long enough to melt cheese and presto! You have one really tasty dish!

Should have taken a picture but I was too hungry! Sorry!

30 November 2011

Working out.

This week I began working out with a personal trainer - he is my husband. I just finished my Wednesday night workout and I'm tired!

28 November 2011

God speaking

 jrs (c) 28 Nov 2011
 jrs (c) 28 Nov 2011 
 jrs (c) 28 Nov 2011 
  jrs (c) 28 Nov 2011
  jrs (c) 28 Nov 2011
 jrs (c) 28 Nov 2011

24 November 2011

Happy Thanksgiving!

This is the one day of the year when most people concentrate on the food that is piled on their table in stead of the real reason we celebrate "Thanksgiving": to realize how much we have to be thankful for. Besides the normal stuff like a job, a house, your family, your friends,  there are so many little things that happen that often we don't see or realize. Here are a few things that I have noticed in my life: my jeweler sometimes fixes pieces for free, go to get a soda from a machine and there was the money in the change return, a friend gets me to pet sit as much as possible so I can save some money for a trip I would like to take, I can see and talk to my son in Paris through Skype, my younger son lives nearby and gives me massages from time to time, seeing a beautiful sunset like the one I saw last night - it was glorious pink and orange and the river water was purple, being able to "pencil painting" pictures, enjoying each season for its value, having perfume to wear, having hair - lost mine to chemo in the spring and it is growing back! There are so many blessings all around us we just need to look, enjoy, and be thankful.

God bless each one of you and have a thankful day!

19 November 2011

A new work in progress! Now finished!

The other day I was feeling beneath the clouds and wanted a hug so I began  a picture that I then decided to share the picture as a work in progress. Hope you enjoy!

#1 Sketch of picture - took 3 days

#2 Outlined picture - took less than 2 hours

#3 Starting to add color to me and the angel. Love the halo!

#4 Working on wing power!

#5 The Picture is finished!

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